


Ruminations on a Bad Hand

by ani_bester



Category: Invaders (Marvel), Marvel, Marvel 616
Genre: Afterlife, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Memories, Old Age, Old Friends, left alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-03
Updated: 2013-05-03
Packaged: 2017-12-10 06:11:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/782719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ani_bester/pseuds/ani_bester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roger contemplates the second chances everyone but he and Brian have been given.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ruminations on a Bad Hand

**Author's Note:**

> Brian and Roger were lovers back in WWII (as established in New Invaders) and of the Invaders, Brian (Union Jack) is the only one to remain dead, and Roger (Destroyer) is the only one to remain elderly.

Roger sat in the back of the room on a small wooden bench more suited for shoes than people. He back was pressed up against the hard wall of Jackie's summer house, and his feet rested on a tin watering can he'd moved out from under the bench. As he watched the others interact across the room, Roger shifted position, taking care to balance the glass of scotch he held in his hand. Frowning, he shifted again, trying to find a more comfortable position on the hard wood seat. Though there were more comfortable chairs available, they were in the center of the room and would put him in the middle of everyone else. 

Roger stayed where he was, absently twirling his cane with his free hand.

Taking a long sip of the scotch Steve had brought for the occasion, Roger let his gaze do his traveling for him. He watched as Steve waved his hand animatedly in Jackie's direction, refuting something she had said. Roger grinned as Jackie shook her head in an all too familiar way, the way she always had when she and Brian had--

Roger took a deep breath and concentrated on watching Jackie rather than thinking. She punctuated the air with small jabs in Steve's direction as she made a rebuttal. Steve jabbed right back. Whatever point they were arguing, though, was lost in the din of the small room. Movement on the left caught Roger's attention, and he watch as Bucky, laughing, leaned against Steve's chair and joined in. From the looks he was giving Steve, Bucky was most likely on Jackie's side. 

Roger then looked over at the other guests, Toro and his wife, Ann- the only person in the room aside from Roger who still looked her true age. Toro was laughing and egging Steve and Jackie on. As Roger watched, Ann reached over and slid her arm around Toro's waist, drawing him close. Toro smiled and turned his attentions to Ann, eyes filled with adoration. Roger looked away again. When he managed to look back, Ann was resting her head on Toro's shoulder, content to watch rather than join any of the conversations around her.

Roger clenched his own hands and looked down at his scotch. 

"You do not wish to sit closer?" Jim's soft question broke Roger's concentration on the amber color of the drink. With a sigh, he glanced out the window, looking wistfully at all the empty seating available outside. 

"Not really, Jim," he answered, gaze still on the outside. "It's too noisy for an old codger like myself."

Jim frowned and looked to Ann and Toro. "Ann seems not to mind the noise levels, and I believe you two are a similar age."

Roger glared at Jim, but couldn't retain his anger when he saw Jim's expression of honest confusion. Since his return to the living, Jim had regressed back to the awkwardness he's possessed when they'd first met. The confident man to whom Roger had relinquished command of the V-Battalion belonged as much to memory as Brian did. 

"We're all the same age, Jim, just Ann and I are the only ones who have the decency to look it, " he answered, shifting down on the bench so there was room for Jim to join him. 

Jim sat. "I have offered a solution to that. Ann I think will take me up on it, she-"

"Of course she will." Roger lifted his cane with his free hand and pointed it at Toro. "Your boy came back to her. Who can blame her for wanting to be young again for him?"

"But you still refuse a transfusion?" Jim asked, his brows knitted together as he looked down at Roger. "I'm certain my blood will restore your youth as it did for Jackie."

Roger smiled and leaned forward on his cane, resting his weight against it. "I still refuse, yes. And you're going to ask me why aren't you, Jim."

Roger smirked as Jim's cheeks flushed. The android nodded, but did not actually give voice to the question. 

"Do you believe in a life after this? Heaven, reincarnation, anything really aside from this being it?"

Jim squirmed a little and Roger wondered if it was a learned response or if Jim really did squirm when put on the spot. 

"I tend to avoid answering that," Jim finally replied as he looked down at some gardening tools Jackie stowed in a larger flower pot. "Usually the conversation goes from there to whether or not I have a soul or anything to continue on after this body shuts down." Jim squirmed again before looking back at Roger. "Or if I recall being deceased. It's not usually a comfortable subject."

Roger looked at Jim in silence before smiling. "Sorry, I just was looking for a frame of reference is all." He looked out at the garden. "See, I do. Not that I go in for all that religious mumbo jumbo, but I refuse to believe this is it, do you know why?"

"No, if you ever told me a reason, Roger, I can't remember it."

Roger looked back at Jim. Raising his cane once, he thumped it against the ground as though in defiance of some unseen force. "Because I refuse to believe that the universe would allow me so little time with Brian," he answered. Roger's voice was gruffer than he'd expected it to be. "I refuse to believe I'll never see him again, and I refuse to believe that one damn car ride ended everything between us for eternity." 

Roger felt the bench move as Jim squirmed once again. "You…. you want to die?"

Roger laughed. "Good God man, no, no I don't want to die, but I don't want to restart my life either." 

"Oh," Jim responded. He became still, apparently contemplating what to say next. Too still, Roger realized as he noticed that Jim's chest had stopped rising and falling. After a few more moments Jim even stopped blinking. 

Roger lifted his glass and took a long sip of scotch, relishing the burn as it went down his throat. He glanced up at Jim as he set the tumbler back down. "However," Roger said. 

Jim stirred, blinking once as he shifted to better meet Roger's gaze. 

Roger continued. "On the off chance that Brian does crawl out of his grave the way your boy did, you better have some blood to spare, Jim, because I will be beating your door down."

Jim smiled but before he could respond, he was cut off by a shout from Steve. 

"Jim, come back me up! I know Jackie isn't right about where we were in July of 42, and Bucky is taking her side to be a jerk."

Bucky looked aghast at Steve. "I'd never do that! Natasha, tell him I'd never do that."

"He's would and probably is," Natasha answered without looking up from the magazine article she was showing Sharon. "His smile pulls at the left side like it is now when he's trying to get a rise out of someone."

Laughing in a way that sounded more forced than he once would have, Jim went over to Steve. Roger watched as Bucky tossed a book at Natasha and accused her of being a 'tatte-tale.' Natasha caught the book without looking, and tossed it back to Bucky. 

Amidst the commotion, Roger noticed Ann tugging at Toro's shirt. Toro allowed himself to be pulled out to the garden. Roger followed them both with his gaze.

Once outside, Ann backed Toro against a vine covered terrace so that their faces were partially hidden by the lush green leaves. But Roger could still see her trembling hands as Ann reached up to touch Toro's face. And he could still see Toro bend down to be kissed. 

Roger's nose tickled and he wiped at it with the hand that held the scotch.

 

"Bri, the leaves are going to make me sneeze."

Brian smiled down at Roger, his blue eyes bright. Ignoring the complaint entirely, Brian leaned in and kissed Roger gently. "Wars over mate," he whispered. "So from here on out you and me are together."

"And you had to sneak me out to tell me this?"

Brian just grinned and leaned in again.

 

What are you thinking about?" Jackie's voice cut through Roger's memory like a knife through butter.

He didn't look up. "Nothing much Jack," he answered. He took a long drink, finishing the scotch. For a moment, he studied the empty glass. He raised it up to the light for a second and then slammed it against the bench. 

"Just contemplating how bloody unfair life can be." 

-End


End file.
